had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
