slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
