Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
