Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
