You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize