I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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