you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
