i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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