addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
