I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
