There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
