we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
