how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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