I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
