I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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