When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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