you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
