If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
