he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
