Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
