Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
