I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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