i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
