That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
