it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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