I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize