John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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