Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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  (646): A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!" http://tfl.nu/psh2
  Replies (10) Good night (1936) Bad night (819)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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  (413): when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it. http://tfl.nu/zw8b
  Replies (9) Good night (528) Bad night (2101)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.

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  (407): i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all. http://tfl.nu/cnhy
  Replies (18) Good night (701) Bad night (1539)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3356) Bad night (650)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1634) Bad night (40747)
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  (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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  (585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1
  Replies (68) Good night (12059) Bad night (2894)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut

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  (806): If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut http://tfl.nu/i4w4
  Replies (21) Good night (4817) Bad night (1081)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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  (520): you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab http://tfl.nu/m7xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1673) Bad night (747)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (560)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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  (304): 1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills. http://tfl.nu/lzae
  Replies (10) Good night (1453) Bad night (577)
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (820)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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  (610): I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels. http://tfl.nu/rc9i
  Replies (9) Good night (877) Bad night (460)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.

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  (928): I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug. http://tfl.nu/ikjc
  Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (460)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"

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  (609): Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits" http://tfl.nu/28wn
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (226)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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  (773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63
  Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (351)

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