glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.