i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone