I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.