I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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