thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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