his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize