I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Everything about him screamed your future.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
