How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
