I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
