I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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