what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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