Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
