If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
