wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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