It was confusing and full of hummus
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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