Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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