also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize