Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
