fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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