Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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