you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
