So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
