Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
