please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
