cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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