Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
one two three fourrrrnication!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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