Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
