I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
