I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize