We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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