But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
