hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My life is pants optional.
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