He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
