he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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