You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
