I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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