Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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