EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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